Senior Year Reflections

Yesterday, I said I would do a post entitled “High School Reflection” but up until this point those last three years seem slightly insignificant.  To be honest, those three years blurred together in my mind. I picture those moments in an album entitled “awkward, weird, and trying to fit in”. Wow. Four years and I feel like a different person.

Even with 20/20 vision I could never picture that this would be the outcome. Sometimes I’m sadden sometimes I’m proud.  I’m proud that I found fun with great people that didn’t involve drugs, alcohol, or random “hook-ups”. Ever since the show, The Hills, “Hook-ups” has been such an ambiguous term. Like what does it really mean? Any-hoo. I’m sadden that I never had a boyfriend, date, male best friend, and all the trials & tribulations that come with boys. The thing is, I personal believe that the opposite sex will teach you a lot about yourself. Are you needy? A bad communicator? Naive? A hopeless romantic? The list goes on and on.  I don’t want to become a boy-crazy girl. Not boy-crazy in the sense that I obsess over boys.  I fear that I will be one of those girls that reads all the wrong signs. Like: “Omg, omg. I think he loves me! Did you see that he held the door open for me” 

On a similar note, rejection truly changed me as a person. I didn’t make Red Jackets or win the position as Senior Class Treasurer. At first I was truly sadden by the two back-to-back events. I was some what traumatized, questioning the value of my life. But looking back at that moment that rejection has made me stronger. Sometimes I feel as though too much rejection could have caused me to “turtle”. Turtle is a phrase I use when describing how certain events, situations, or people cause me to become reclusive, isolated or closed off.   But being rejected for those things opened up so many doors. Not being a Red Jacket allowed me to spend my time doing things God had destined me to. My church is still a wokin’ progress so, I’m glad I got to focus on that. And then with Senior class officers I was selected to be on the council. Which allowed me to build a relationship with one of the sponsor thus leading to greater things. So the happiness I feel now surpasses the dismay I felt this time last year.

Friends. Two very important friendships were put through the ringer. I’m proud of how things transpired but I’m glad they did because now I know our relationship is built on rock not sand, a solid foundation not a temporary one. For a certain relationship I was under the impression that we were losing our footing. But I’m glad the other individual still had faith in our relationship.

School. I had some of the best teachers at school. I became so exhausted though. It was so tiring. Going to school, then home, and then being bogged down with countless hours of homework. All the things I wanted to do were postponed because of tasks at hand.  It seems as though I’m complaining but I’m glad I decided to challenge myself with the IB program. I met great people, had thought provoking discussiosn, and grew stronger in my faith and beliefs.

Money. If my parents taught me one things its has been not to live out of your means. I live in a semi-affluent community. I’m proud that I never lived out of my means or tried to keep up with the Jones. Ducking that sphere of influence was not easy though. For a long time I felt so uncomfortable with my situation whether it be my clothes, car, or the day-to-day events like going to this or that activity.  Do you know how hard it is to have impeccable style but not the means to afford it? Granted I love Bill Cosby sweaters, but don’t expect me to have a whole wardrobe full of second-hand stuff. I’m infatuated with the indie lifestyle but I’m a glamour girl at heart.

Lastly… Let’s not pretend it’s always easy. There were ups and downs. I’m still trying to find my place. This year I was in a fashion show, I spoke in front of my whole class, I cried, I laughed, and I have a collection of memories to last me a life time.

So to  future Soulfulabby, readers, friends, family I leave you with this piece of advice… Let’s see what the next chapter holds.

Ciao Bella.

[Some of the photos use above were stolen without permission. Please forgive me.]

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2 Comments

  1. I have some relationship advice that might help you. http://www.divinefeminae.wordpress.com. Thank you!

    Reply

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